Connections
by peanutilover
Summary: Because of the nature of the power Harry wielded against Voldemort, only those who had truly ever loved enough to die for someone has survived the aftereffects of their clash. So why is Snape still alive?
1. Prologue

Hermione surveyed the field before her nervously, eyes frantically searching for signs of life as she sat up.

Oh, god… let someone, anyone, be alive.

The explosion… it had been so sudden, a flash a golden light, and suddenly what had been a mass of screams and movement, a battlefield of epic proportions, froze. When the air cleared, no one was left standing.

I can't be the only one alive.

She glanced to her right and saw Ron. A quick touch to his shoulder confirmed that he was gone.

She stood, beginning to be scared. There was Harry… unmoving, next to a crumpled pile of cloth- all that was left of Voldemort. Mad-Eye… Percy… Kingsley… There were so many bodies… All dead. Was she really the only one left?

Then she saw him.

A black robed figure, slowly struggling to his feet.

She nearly flew to his side, supporting and holding the man up. "Is there anyone else?"

At the grim words, Hermione nearly broke. A sob escaped as she replied, "I… I don't think so…"

Then his strong arms wrapped around her and she nearly collapsed.

She had felt so alone for a moment, but now… he had her, and was holding her close.

She was safe.

In the arms of Severus Snape.

….

Author's Note: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have done it again. Though you've been spared of most of my abandoned stories, I've been persuaded to post this, and I doubt I will be able to finish it. I tend to lose interest fast, always moving onto a new plot bunny before I finish the first one. Perhaps your reviews will help to keep me focused?

This story began as a failed attempt at a one-shot, and could stand as is, I suppose. I'd rather not leave it here though. It doesn't have enough plot or emotional connection to be a good one shot- and I'm quite aware of the fact. The real plot is forming as I type... I do hope it turns out to be readable- perhaps even interesting?


	2. Chapter 1: Altogether Irregular

Hermione and Severus walked away from the battle site together, an air of awkwardness between them. They maintained their distance, walking a good three feet apart, avoiding conversation as well as one another's eyes. Hermione still felt weak, but concentrated on not showing it- if she stumbled, Severus might catch her, and then she would be in his arms again. That closeness in itself was embarrassing enough, but even worse was the thought that as soon as he touched her she would burst into tears again.

Severus hadn't minded her crying so much. Certainly he had not been so openly affected, but he was older, more mature, more experienced in situations such as these. He had not blamed her at all, but when she had pulled away from him at last, obviously just realizing whose arms she had collapsed in, her face had been red from blushing as well as tears. She had stammered an apology before they set off to find the mediteam, both hoping to help the injured- assuming there were any others alive. He had not objected to her pulling away or apology.

So much for aiding the injured. The tent that the mediwitch ushered them into held only two other people, neither of which needed care. They stood huddled together, a man and a woman, facing away from the entrance, but turned as they heard footsteps behind them.

"Remus! Tonks!" Hermione rushed to hug her friends, unbelievably relieved to see them alive. "Are you okay? Did you see what happened?" As her questions rushed out, her eyes shone with tears once more. "Is there anyone else… anyone else alive?"

Severus watched the reunion uneasily. He too wanted the answers to all those questions, though it soon became clear that the wolf and his little shape shifter knew nothing more than he or Hermione did. Their attention moved to him momentarily, just a bare glance before they went back to comforting the distraught young woman, whose shaking shoulders betrayed her sobs as she clung to Tonks. Remus rubbed her back soothingly, but seemed at a loss as to how to calm her.

Shaking his head, Severus stepped out of the tent for a few moments. When he returned he was bearing a small vial of pale pink liquid.

"Here." He handed it to Remus who recognized the potion instantly. He looked at Severus in surprise. Was this courtesy? From the Death Eater spy, who may or may not have been on the right side? It was altogether irregular.

After she had taken the Calming Draught, Hermione felt much better. She was able to stop sobbing, at least. She glanced thankfully at Remus, who merely shook his head. "Snape brought it."

Hermione sank into one of the chairs scattered about the tent. She looked for Severus, but he was all the way on the other side of the tent now, by the door. She would have to thank him later.

More people were led in by the mediwitch as the hours past. She had returned permanently, manning a spot directly outside as another administered Calming Draught to every one who entered and found them a spot to sit as they regathered their thoughts and energy. Though her mind was a bit hazy- an aftereffect of the potion common to shock victims- Hermione noticed that people seemed to be entering in pairs. First were Professors Sinistra and Flitwick, then Parvati and Seamus, then Bill and Fleur Weasley, followed by many others. She supposed that people had stayed close to their loved ones during the scuffle of dodging curses and firing them back, trying to protect each other.

Like many others, after she felt a bit better Hermione wanted to Apparate home, but the mediwitch firmly refused to allow it, casting an Anti-Apparition charm on the tent and guarding the door against anyone who wanted to exit. They must all be approved as being completely healthy first, she said. Then she transfigured all the chairs into cots in one fell swoop and commanded that they all lie down.

Accepting this, Hermione slipped off to sleep in a cot- wishing more than anything in the world she wasn't the only person who seemed to be without someone they loved beside them.

On the other side of the tent, Severus was sitting on his own transfigured cot, as everyone else drifted off due to the potion. He had flatly refused it, saying that he was fine- he may not have been, but he detested the feeling of being fuzzyheaded more than anything. He would have liked a walk out in the fresh air to clear his head, but the glare of the mediwitch at the door told him that would not be possible.

He settled instead for leaning back and closing his eyes. Tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow…

Tomorrow, as it turned out, did not start much better than the day before had been. They hadn't been examined the night before because of the late hour- it had been nearly sunset when the battle ended and well after before all the stragglers made it back. Everyone was subjected to a full physical exam as soon as they woke up, shoved full of potions and magically censored for internal damage, magical and physical.

It was nearly one in the afternoon before Hermione stepped out into the sunshine. She meant to Apparate home immediately- see her parents and hug Crookshanks as soon as she could. But she couldn't help pausing for a moment to revel in the warmth of real sun on her face. It had been over a year since the strange mist of breeding dementors had settled over England, and today was the first in a long time that it _felt_ nice out.

Severus spied her walking- well, strolling, really- into the trees nearby and followed, not sure what he was intending to do. It wasn't certain yet that walking around this area alone was safe yet, he told himself. There could be damaging magical residue- unlikely, but possible after such a strong explosion and a long battle during which everyone was practically exuding magic- or there could still be Death Eaters about- altogether more likely.

Hermione stopped as she reached the edge of the field where the deadly battle had raged. Teams had been working all night to remove the bodies, but there were… well, _parts _laying in the bloody grass. The whole place smelled of death- blood and sweat and vomit as well as acrid burning flesh. That curse had been particularly popular with the other side. She wanted to vomit herself.

"Coming here to put the memories to rest so soon, Miss Granger? Or simply not paying attention to where your feet were leading you?" The silky voice from behind made her jump, though it did not hold it's usual malicious tone.

She did not want to respond. The answer to both his questions was yes. She did want to cleanse herself of the pain and guilt the memories of yesterday held. She had killed people. Right here on this field, people had died because of her, and no rationalization was yet capable of convincing her otherwise. But she had not come here with that in mind. She had just come here, drawn to the place for reasons she could not quite understand.

"Perhaps you will allow me to escort you back? It really is not safe here yet." Severus intruded on her thoughts with the question, for which she was grateful.

She turned to him, expressing her thanks in a tired smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "That would be very kind of you."

As they walked back through the forest, Hermione reviewed the night before in her mind. She had found that was the best way to process things for her, going over every detail until she had memorized them. She didn't think about the battle… that was useless. What she had done there was done, and she never wanted to think of it again. That evening though… collapsing in the arms of the man beside her… their tense walk together… crying on Tonks' shoulder… then…

"I wanted to say thank you." She stated it calmly, nearly in a monotone. She couldn't bring her voice to do more at the moment.

Severus raised his eyes to hers in surprise. "Whatever for?"

Hermione blushed. "For… for yesterday. Comforting me… and thinking of going for a Calming Draught."

Severus smirked. "Ah yes. You're welcome." He paused, then continued, "Lupin looked quite as if he hadn't expected me to be that thoughtful…as if I didn't know when it would take a potion to help someone."

Hermione laughed shakily, realizing his implication and stating it, "Now, now, why would a Potion's Master know when a _potion_ would be of use?"

Her sarcasm caught Severus off guard. When he didn't reply, she added, "I'm sure he wasn't surprised that you would think of a potion. It was probably more that you would be thoughtful enough to actually seek out help for someone else."

"Am I so callous, then? Do I never help anyone?" Severus' tone was light, but the bitterness behind his words was obvious.

Hermione didn't know how to respond. "You… you are a person, Professor. All people have some amount of kindness within them. I think that perhaps it has simply been a long time since you have been in a position to act on kind impulses."

She had pinpointed him exactly. How odd, that someone other than himself would actually seem to understand his situation. She was far too idealistic. All the others were too jaded to think that Severus Snape could truly make a kind gesture because he felt it should be done. He found that for the first time in a while, he did not mind idealism.

They reached the small encampment without speaking furthur, neither certain of how to continue the conversation. Somehow, though, Hermione didn't feel so tense as she had when walking with him yesterday.

Yesterday. She still felt teary-eyed, despite the second dose of Calming Draught a mediwitch had given her when she woke up. It was hard to grasp that she would never see Harry or Ron again. Quickly she pushed thoughts of the two from her mind, determined to avoid the subject, even within herself, for as long as possible.

Attempting to rid herself of thoughts tainted with yesterday's memories, Hermione glanced to her left. Her eyes met Severus' and she smiled at him again. He seemed to need smiling at. Or perhaps she needed something to smile at- seeing as she could think of nothing to smile _about_.

They parted at the sight of Tonks and Remus, Hermione rushing towards them and Severus watching for a moment before he Apparated to Spinner's End. Hermione was wrapped up in making certain that her friends were okay, and didn't notice his absence until he had already gone.

"So… I guess we can all head back home now." Hermione pointed out. None of them had been home in ages- the days before the battle had been spent at Grimmauld Place, preparing for the challenge Voldemort had set for Harry.

"Yes. It will be nice to sleep in ou- my own bed again." Tonks said, exchanging a look with her fiancé. Hermione pretended to ignore the near slip.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "It's one o'clock in the afternoon, Nymphadora. Are you going to bed a bit early tonight? Or should I say- today?"

Tonks slapped him lightly on the arm. "Don't call me that!"

Remus looked properly ashamed. "Sorry…"

Hermione wanted to grin indulgently, but couldn't quite manage it. "Well… I'll see you later."

All three Apparated away after a few more hugs. Hermione arrived at her own small apartment feeling decidedly more lonely than before, knowing that Remus and Tonks were together, taking comfort from each other in_ their_ bed. She had intended to visit her parents, but they wouldn't understand. They hadn't even known what was going on, had barely known anything about Harry or Voldemort or Ron or battles. How could she go there and explain it all now? And she couldn't go there without talking about it. Suddenly her parents didn't seem quite as safe as they had when she was a child. They hadn't been able to protect her, even if they had known she was in danger, and they would hate knowing that.

So she was left all alone in her quiet apartment. It needed dusting, and the whole place smelt of the coffee mug she had left sitting in the sink when she was called five days before. Normally she would have cast a quick spell or two to clean the place up, but all of the sudden she was exhausted in spite of the rest she had had the night before. It had been ages since she had slept soundly. Threats of worldwide destruction tended to upset her sleeping patterns. She fell into bed without another thought to the cleanliness of the place- or anything else.


	3. Chapter 2: Restless Disappointment

Severus, unlike Hermione, found himself pacing his bedroom later that night at Spinner's End, unable to relax enough to lay down, much less sleep. He knew he was wearing himself to exhaustion, but couldn't stop thinking about everything. No one knew what had happened during that last brightly lit moment of the battle yet. No one knew why some had survived with wounds that should have killed them, nor why some had died without a mark on their bodies.

After he Apparated away, he had instantly decided that he could not stay at home when he knew there had to be injured people somewhere who needed his help. He did pride himself on having made one of the better hoards of potions in England during the war. Working for both sides meant he had to supply both of them- double what anyone else was trying to do.

He had located another tent, several hundred yards away from the one where he had been kept, this one full of those too badly injured to care for themselves. He had been there, working, all afternoon and into the night, until gradually the number tapered off as people were either healed or taken to St. Mungo's. At nearly eleven, one of the harsh faced mediwitches had told him quite firmly to go home; otherwise she was putting him in a full body bind and taking him home with her. He left quickly following that.

That left him here. Pacing. Worrying. He couldn't help it. He needed to know what had happened- why it had happened. He had been able to see bodies still being carried off the field from where he had been- some of them without a single scratch. Avada Kedavra, of course, would have done so. But all of them? No one had been using the curse that much. Not even the majority of Death Eater's had dared, just in case the Order ended up winning. It wouldn't do to be able to buy your way out of Azkaban only to be hindered by a claim you had used an Unforgivable in battle.

So what had happened? What could have had that effect? Severus' racing mind could not fathom it, and he knew that any conclusion he came up with would be faulty with his mind in such a state. Perhaps he should have taken one of those Calming Draughts. He still could, he had enough for several doses left, shrunk down in the pocket of the cloak he had lay over the chair by his bed. He hated the feeling, but… he had to sleep. Not even he was so stubborn as to allow his body to push itself past it's limits simply because he didn't like the feeling he got after taking the potion.

One sip was all he needed. Not even a full dose and he could feel the exhaustion seeping into his bones. He undressed, and lay down in bed, setting the bottle on his nightstand, intending to pick it up again to take the full dose in a moment.

The nest morning he woke up feeling as if he had the hangover of the century. He looked at the mostly full bottle and shook his head. Full dose, indeed. He'd barely had any before sleep had overtaken him. He headed to the bathroom to immerse himself in a hot shower. Hopefully this feeling would be gone before breakfast. He glanced at the clock. Make that before lunch.

As it turned out, the feeling did not vanish by the time Severus next entered his small kitchen, though he did not do so in order to eat. Minerva McGonagall was awaiting him worriedly, her head floating in a cloud of green flames that was the floo.

"Oh good, you're here."

"That I am. What do you need?" His terse reply was mostly because he still felt hung over, though it was also partially because he had a feeling that she was calling to ask him to do something unpleasant.

She sighed, obviously unsure of how to answer.

After a moment he added, "I'm assuming that you _did_ want something?"

Minerva cleared her throat. "Yes." Still she hesitated, gathering her thoughts at last to say, "I realize that the battle is still very fresh on the minds of all who were involved, and indeed, all who were not. But there is already a motion within the Ministry to discover exactly what it was that occurred during those last few moments before the destruction of… of _him_." She wasn't sure what to call Voldemort anymore. "I've been asked to gather as group of the finest minds to come through Hogwarts in my memory in order to figure out what happened."

Severus waited for a moment. She did not go on.

"So, you wanted… what, again?" he knew perfectly well what she wanted, but he wasn't going to be roped into this. At least, not this easily. He did have to admit that he would very much like to work on finding the answer to the questions the battle had birthed.

Minerva sighed again. She had been nervous about asking her colleague about this to begin with because she had known that he would need persuading, and he would not make this easy on her.

"You are one of the finest minds to be at Hogwarts in my memory, Severus- as a student and a teacher." She flattered him shamelessly. "I would be honored to have you working on this project. Not only are you a fine Potions Master, you are one of the most accomplished Defense scholars I know, and your expertise would be greatly appreciated."

Severus grunted.

"I need your help." Minerva pled, trying a different route of persuasion. "I need your perspective on this matter. Your unique position…" She stopped at a piercing glare from the dark man in front of her. This line of talk was not going to be efficient.

Exasperated at last, she burst out, "Don't you want to know? It's the biggest mystery of the century, and no one will ever know what happened or why if people like you don't at least attempt to find out!"

The passion in her voice shocked him. She really wanted him to do this. When she stopped for breath, meeting his eyes steadily, almost staring him down, he couldn't help but give in to his own desire to know. Quietly, he uttered a single syllable, causing her to break into a grin.

"Fine."

Her face was filled with relief. "Thank you, Severus." She turned all business as she explained that the group's first meeting would be held two days hence. "Oh, and Severus… Harry Potter is alive. I thought you should know, I know many people assumed he was dead… He was nearly there, but his magic seems to be holding him in a coma like state for the moment."

Severus nodded. He wasn't sure how to reply. As grateful as he knew he should be, he still had never liked the boy.

Another few moments of the usual useless pleasantries and Minerva was gone, the flames of the floo dying out soon after. Severus settled to making himself a very light lunch, unsure of how much food his stomach could handle. He cursed his body for reacting so badly to a potion that most children took easily.

Two days. He sat down to eat feeling unsatisfied. Two days of doing nothing to discover what was going on. Then surely the Ministry would turn the whole thing into a bundle of bureaucratic mess. Suddenly he wished he hadn't agreed to anything.

* * *

Okay, so this chapter took longer to update and is not as long- but I swear, I have a good reason! Actually, this has been written for a fe days, but I was going to make it longer, but then I decided that this was a good enough stopping point. On the plus side, while letting this sit and debating about the length, I've written about half of chapter three. So... I should have that updated after about another week. I'm getting ready to move off for my first year of college, and I just rediscovered a rather long, drawn out and immature Draco/Hermione fic I wrote a while ago and would like to revamp... so... I'm trying not to push this all the way to the back burner, but there are other things vying for my attention. Review and encourage me to pay attention to this fic! 


	4. Chapter 3: Full of Surprises

Less than an hour following her conversation with Minerva, Hermione apparated into Hogsmeade. She had been promising her parents a visit for ages and knew that she needed to see them right now, after such a traumatizing experience. But she couldn't wait two days to begin the research that would give her the answers to all her questions. Why Ron was dead, and why she wasn't. Why Harry was in an unbreakable coma. Why… everything. She had to know. Two more days of doing nothing would drive her to insanity.

Classes were not being held, but during the last weeks of the escalating tensions between the two sides it had become a refuge for many. The doors were open. No one frequented the hallways as Hermione went to the library- all the emergency residents had left the night before, eager to return home.

She went straight to the library without even noticing where her feet were taking her. She should have informed Minerva of her presence, but somehow preferred not to. She supposed she didn't want to risk being told to stop worrying for the moment and go home until the committee could meet. Perhaps the portraits would tell the headmistress of the intruder.

Her first instinct was the head into the Restricted Section, but she had no idea what she was looking for. For the first time in her memory, Hermione Granger was at a loss as to what book would help her. What had happened was, to her rather extensive knowledge, almost completely unprecedented. The closest she could think of was at the Triwizard Tournament, when Harry had described the Priori Incantem effect between his wand and Voldemort's.

An hour later, Hermione rested her head in her hands, staring down at page 75 of _Unexplained Magical Happenings and Their Relationship To The Equinox_. She was getting somewhere, but it was such slow going that she felt as if she was going nowhere at all. If she was on the right track, finding the answers was going to take the rest of her life, and if she was on the wrong track, it was going to take even longer.

"Are you using this book, or simply staring at it?" The voice came from behind her, startling her back into awareness. She recognized it instantly.

Without so much as twitching, she processed the situation and skipped over all of the petty retorts that came to her mind to ask her first serious question. "Were you asked to work on this as well?"

Severus was as surprised by her response as she had been by his presence, but true to form he didn't show it. "Yes, I was. But I don't recall the instructions being to start right away, Miss Granger. Are you so eager?"

She wasn't thrown off by his biting tone. "Yes." She flipped a page defiantly, as if to say 'You see, I'm working here.' Simply staring at a page indeed. She refused to let him see her frustration.

Severus was astounded at her single-mindedness. Nevertheless, his research so far had led him the same book she currently was perusing so fervently, her scroll of notes growing longer by the second. She must have arrived at Hogwarts just before he had- perhaps he had even been a mere step behind her the whole time.

How very unnerving. It was more than rare for one of his students to get ahead of him, even by the tiniest bit.

"Did you need something?" His staring was beginning to bother her.

Hermione was still rifling through pages with one hand while taking meticulous notes with the other. Rather than tell her he needed the book- which he had a feeling he wouldn't have access to for a while- Severus replied with a sneering "No. I was simply wondering how long it would take you to show the respect of speaking to me- perhaps explaining exactly what has enticed you to arrive here so very early to do something that was clearly reserved for a committee."

She smiled softly, still facing downward at her book so he couldn't see. His intimidations were not nearly so frightening when there were to House points or detentions to concern herself with. She decided to let him stand there for as long as he wished. She was busy, after all, and didn't need to answer his questions. If he thought hard enough he could surely figure it out for himself.

Another half an hour established Severus at the next table over, absentmindedly flipping through an inane novel as he watched Hermione, waiting for her to finish with _Magical Happenings_. It must be a better resource than he anticipated, because she didn't show any signs of giving the book up soon.

A few more minutes passed and Severus grew bored with the novel. Losing hope of ever seeing the book Hermione was _still_ flipping through, Severus backtracked his research to his last tome and began again. Hopefully he would find something, some cross-reference or idea that would lead him somewhere else- somewhere Hermione wasn't.

_Another_ hour went by and Severus began to grow hungry again, his breakfast having been very small. Hermione was still perusing the same book, which he was more and more certain he needed to see. He wasn't sure how she could not have exhausted it's pages of knowledge by now- he secretly suspected that she was keeping it just to spite him, even though she should have had no idea that he wanted it. Resolving not to concentrate on it, he concentrated on his rumbling stomach instead.

He came back from the kitchens bearing a plate far to full of food to feed just one person. Hermione smiled, recalling Harry and Ron's frequent trips to 'visit' Dobby. She then redoubled her efforts, ignoring the hunger she felt. Ron and Harry were more important.

Severus ate his fill rather leisurely, quite glad that Madam Pince wasn't around in the summertime to scold him for eating in the library. He wondered what on earth could be in the book Hermione had- it certainly seemed to be useful.

"You could eat, you know, Miss Granger." He finally said. "It's not as if you are the sort of person to watch your weight."

Hermione looked up for the first time since Severus had spoken to her, nearly two hours before. Her eyes were stormy with anger. "Professor Snape, do not assume anything about me, please. There are a great many things about me of which you are not aware- for instance, you did not know until now that I intensely dislike being disturbed when I am studying. Now you may _assume_, since you know that, that I will be annoyed when you bother me. And that is the only _assumption_ that it is safe for you to make."

That said, she looked back down and began her notes again, now only occasionally referring to a chart in the back of the book.

Severus watched her for a moment, surprised by her outburst. She had spoken in a cold tone that reminded him vaguely of either Minerva or himself- he wasn't sure which. That was slightly disturbing.

Hermione seemed to be full of surprises lately. She had sought him out, cried in his arms merely two days before- something he had never expected anyone to do. She had not waited for the committee- something that felt remotely akin to rule breaking, something he had never expected from the perfectionist Gryffindor prefect. And she had stood up unusually well to his jibes today.

She certainly was an extraordinary young lady. And definitely full of surprises.

Well, people, it's been a few weeks- maybe three? I'm not too sure. I've been officially moved into my dorm now though- excuse me, my 'residence hall'. So anyway, I don't know too many people yet, so managed to crank out the last half of this chapter in about three days. I know, I know, I'm a slow writer, but at least I'm still going! No promises once I start getting involved here- between my social life and work and eight am classes five days a week, I'm not sure how much free time I'll have. I do know that I'm starting the next chapter probably today though, so perhaps there will be a Chapter Four by the end of next week.

I love you all, please leave me pretty reviews, voice your opinions about my writing, style and plotwise as well as technical stuff- and tell me where you want this to go next, because the ideas in my head are pretty vague and might be susceptible to change if you have an awesome idea.

3 Me


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